How Can I Contribute to the Success of Divorce Mediation?
November 18, 2013 | Elizabeth A. SchadingDivorce mediation can be an excellent process for reducing costs and increasing the chances of creating a divorce outcome that is livable for everyone. That is not to say that the process is easy, or that it does not carry some unique pitfalls. If you’re asking yourself what you can do to make the process more successful, however, then you are already on the right track. Create a list of reasonable goals. Know what you want this mediation to achieve. Write these goals down. If you don’t know where you’re trying to go then it will be harder to be productive. That doesn’t mean that it will be possible to meet each and every one of your goals exactly as you envision them. But if they are reasonable they at least give you a starting point. Shift your mindset. In a divorce, it’s very natural to start looking for who is at fault. But that attitude is counter-productive during the divorce mediation process. You need to release any need to get revenge, assign blame, or cast yourself as the victim. There is a problem before you and your spouse. The mediation process is successful only when you focus on solving that problem instead of picking apart the events that brought you to the…
Read MoreWhat’s Ending the Most Marriages?
November 16, 2013 | Elizabeth A. SchadingAccording to The Huffington Post, a British study has shown that “unreasonable behavior” is now being cited as a cause for divorce more often than infidelity is. Of course, the definition of “unreasonable” is quite varied. The British don’t have no-fault divorces, and so must list reasons why the marriage has to end. In Minnesota, however, no-fault divorce is the law. This means it doesn’t matter why the marriage is dissolving. The cause could be infidelity, financial indiscretions or the stereotypical “tube of toothpaste” conflict. It simply doesn’t matter as far as the law is concerned. The division of marital property, child custody, child support and spousal support are handled according to the same laws and guidelines and there’s no particular profit in trying to convince the judge that you are the one in the right. That doesn’t mean that every divorce is the same. Far from it. Every divorce is different, and the law can apply to those differences in many important ways. It just means that the “cause” of a divorce doesn’t matter. A judge’s decision generally won’t be swayed one way or another by who did what to whom unless other laws were broken and those laws apply to the case. Minnesota is an “equitable distribution” state. Equitable quite often…
Read MoreCan You Hide to Stop Your Divorce in Minnesota?
November 14, 2013 | Elizabeth A. SchadingIf you know that your spouse will be sending divorce papers, can you hide from the process server to keep the divorce from happening? You may be tempted to try it, but in Minnesota, this tactic simply won’t work. In fact, attempting it could even make things worse for you. If your spouse makes every reasonable effort to locate you, then he or she may use an “alternative method” for serving you the divorce papers. It will take a little longer because he or she will need a court order to do so, but eventually you could find yourself being “served by publication,” which means the petition will simply be published in a local paper. If you’re busy hiding you might not even realize this has happened. This means you could run out of time to file an Answer to the Summons and Complaint. You may lose your chance at having any say in the major issues of your divorce, issues such as child custody, child support, parenting time, spousal support, and the division of assets. Once a default judgment of divorce is entered, the court will typically determine the major issues of divorce exactly as your spouse requested, because you took no part in the decision. Hiding won’t help you reconcile with…
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