Telling the Children about Divorce

March 6, 2017  |  Elizabeth A. Schading

Sometimes the best way for two parents to move forward is to part ways. Divorce has become a common aspect of family life. One of the biggest questions parents often have is when and how it is best to discuss divorce with their children. Here are some helpful tips to consider when broaching the subject with your kids:

• Don’t rush the conversation. It may be tempting to have the conversation quickly, like ripping off a bandaid. However, it’s best for all parties involved to schedule the conversation at a time when there is at least an hour or two to process the emotions that come up. Don’t schedule the conversation right before going to school or before bedtime.

• Different ages need different information. Depending on the ages of your children, they may want and need different kinds of information about the divorce. Preschoolers may need several, shorter talks and may have many questions. School age and teenage children may only need one conversation. It’s important to watch your children carefully during and after the conversation to see how they are reacting and what their individual needs might be.

• After the conversation, keep up routines. It’s important to keep a game plan in mind for after the conversation. The more you and your co-parent are able to maintain what your children have come to expect from their daily routine, the better.

• Using a Professional.  If you or your children are already seeing a therapist, it’s a good idea to include them in the game plan.  They might suggest that the conversation take place in their presence to keep emotions at a comfortable level.  If you are not currently using any therapists, you could consider finding one who has experience in this area for advice or help during the family discussion.  

 
When you need to contact a family law attorney in Minnesota, call BGS Attorneys at Law today: (763) 780-8500